Cue the Beck Music

How to tell if a woman's pregnant: she gets back from puking and has a smile on her face.

I've lost over 10 pounds since I found out a couple of weeks ago about my pregnancy.  Today was the first day I actually lost my lunch.  Er, breakfast.  Now, I'm a tough cookie.  I walk into an ER with a 7.5 mm kidney stone and turn down pain meds.  But this?  This, everything-you-managed-to-get-down-sitting-on-a-geyser-in-your-throat feeling, it's making me a sissy.  The problem is not so much throwing up as it is being nauseated.  Throwing up = not a big deal, whereas constantly being on the brink = hell for everyone around me to pay.  I hear about Phenergan and Zofran and my mouth water (nevermind that it's a fountain all the time in any case).  I seriously, seriously considered begging my doctor for a script.  BUT I remembered my crunchy roots just in time to run to the bathroom and double over.  Good deal, huh?

There are some old herbal-ish remedies for morning sickness.  I've tried a lot of them.  Sucked on enough lemons to give myself mouth sores, tried the saltine-every-hour thing, spicy foods, chocolate, bananas, peppermint... and my advice?  Get used to the queasies.  There are these things called Preggie Pops, however, that do work more than the above mentioned remedies (in my opinion).  They're made with natural sugar alternatives, so there's not as much tummy-upsetting sweetness as regular candy, and they're sour or minty which helps tummy out.

Speaking of Preggie Pops, I had to go to Motherhood Maternity to buy them.  The cute little trick with Motherhood Maternity is that you walk in the store and the attendant says "Welcome to Motherhood!"  And while my first reaction was to snip something about a good 7 months left until then, I smiled at her and reflected on the marketing sense of that greeting.  Pregnant women spend at least the first trimester incessantly worrying about absolutely everything pregnancy-related, and a lot of us can't even bond with the idea that we're going to be mothers during this time.  To hear someone say "Welcome to motherhood" probably makes the idea of parenting just that much more real, if only for a minute, and could lead to some happy spending.  It worked on me.  I bought a maternity top and a sundress.  Don't judge me, it was clearance!

I do understand, though, if you want to judge me for wearing the dress right now.