There are apparently only 2 midwives in all of New Orleans. We had our "initial visit" today and I brought up the wine thing (a couple of posts back, I linked an article on light drinking during pregnancy which supports the theory t's FINE) and unfortunately my midwife believes it to be too risky. While she may believe that, I know that my poor stomach has had my nose divert me from EVERYTHING except a glass of wine (which I did not drink- I'll be waiting until I'm out of my first trimester). I trust my body over medical advice, once more.
But the midwives seem alright, otherwise. I'm sure I could find some crunchier help in California, but you do what you can with what you've got.
Oh, and I got an ultrasound done Monday, and Little One's measuring 5 days older than it should be based on conception. Please God do not make me deliver a 12 pound baby.
I don't feel very funny tonight. I feel sad and angry and a little bit ravenous. I want a chopped salad from my favorite restaurant in LA, and I'm going to cry because I can't have it. I want to watch the sun set on the beach or behind the mountains. I want to go on a hike through the woods and go to the observatory and the LA zoo and Malibu and... yeah... I just want to cry.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Fun sucker.
That's what I've been today, just a happiness-vacuum. Everything is so irritating!
I ordered a sandwich from Isabella's, and while the description said "pesto sauce" was on it, they put a pesto MAYO sauce, which made me want to hurl just smelling it. $8 for something I had to throw away! I called them and told them about it and then filed a report with the BBB. Mayo has eggs, and that can do some nasty things for people who are allergic... better me bitching now than someone suing them for not disclosing the proper information.
I know that was probably a lot for me to do just because of a sandwich, but damn it I was enraged.
And poor Zack... he wants to talk to me, asks me how I'm feeling, when I work, how work was... and I glare at him because it's the 2nd or 3rd time I'm having to tell him I DON'T WANT TO TALK when I'm about to throw up!
I feel like all my frustration from not being able to keep stuff down and just being plain miserable all the time is getting taken out on everyone else.
Please, 1st trimester, be over soon. I mean sooner than my 4 calculated weeks.
I ordered a sandwich from Isabella's, and while the description said "pesto sauce" was on it, they put a pesto MAYO sauce, which made me want to hurl just smelling it. $8 for something I had to throw away! I called them and told them about it and then filed a report with the BBB. Mayo has eggs, and that can do some nasty things for people who are allergic... better me bitching now than someone suing them for not disclosing the proper information.
I know that was probably a lot for me to do just because of a sandwich, but damn it I was enraged.
And poor Zack... he wants to talk to me, asks me how I'm feeling, when I work, how work was... and I glare at him because it's the 2nd or 3rd time I'm having to tell him I DON'T WANT TO TALK when I'm about to throw up!
I feel like all my frustration from not being able to keep stuff down and just being plain miserable all the time is getting taken out on everyone else.
Please, 1st trimester, be over soon. I mean sooner than my 4 calculated weeks.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
On Natural Response
So I was thinking about this morning sickness thing.
Originally, I was on board with the doctors, and KNEW I had to take in 2300 calories a day to reach my weight gain goal for this trimester. After all, ketones, released when your body burns fat, can brain damage the developing baby! Then I got really vomit-y and gave up. I am now relegated to eating a bowl of plain cooked pasta with salt.. per day. And I'm lucky if I keep down my whole 20 oz. Dasani. And I don't care. I like to think that my body, with its countless years of evolution all written down in every strand of DNA, knows more about making a baby than some 20-something man with a general medical degree.
Over half a decade ago, babies were taken immediately from their birthing mothers and put into incubators and left there, alone, for lengthy amounts of time. Doctors meant to protect newborns from the newly-discovered microorganisms in the world... they meant well. However, the catastrophe that ensued speaks volumes about medicine interfering with natural processes like childbirth.
Many newborns got sick, lethargic, and even deathly ill. Some babies literally died from loneliness. From this debacle came the studies that Attachment Parenting would bloom from, and even today, psychoanalysts are working miracles with Attachment Theory.
But doctors, haven't you learned your lesson?! I know you want to fuss at me for losing weight while my baby is wanting to pack on tons of fluid and such, but have you been pregnant? My body quite obviously does not want to gain fat right now. And I think it may know what it's doing. After all, the world is filled with toxins (don't I know it- I wrote a 6-page outline on toxin awareness for the Green & Granola business plan) and right now my baby is at its most vulnerable. I'm sure it doesn't need high-fructose corn syrup or bleached wheat or preservatives. Unfortunately, they're in every damn thing and my body knows it! So slow your roll, doc. I'm going to trust my body over you.
While we're at this, I'm going to say a bit about drinking during pregnancy. I got to wondering about why my friend's glass of Chardonnay smelled so blissfully amazing while every other smell makes me want to barf, and did some Googling...
Actually, I'm not going to say anything; I'm going to link you this article: Lies That Women Are Told.
You can bet that as soon as I make my 2nd trimester I am RUNNING to Whole Foods for some Chardonnay!
Originally, I was on board with the doctors, and KNEW I had to take in 2300 calories a day to reach my weight gain goal for this trimester. After all, ketones, released when your body burns fat, can brain damage the developing baby! Then I got really vomit-y and gave up. I am now relegated to eating a bowl of plain cooked pasta with salt.. per day. And I'm lucky if I keep down my whole 20 oz. Dasani. And I don't care. I like to think that my body, with its countless years of evolution all written down in every strand of DNA, knows more about making a baby than some 20-something man with a general medical degree.
Over half a decade ago, babies were taken immediately from their birthing mothers and put into incubators and left there, alone, for lengthy amounts of time. Doctors meant to protect newborns from the newly-discovered microorganisms in the world... they meant well. However, the catastrophe that ensued speaks volumes about medicine interfering with natural processes like childbirth.
Many newborns got sick, lethargic, and even deathly ill. Some babies literally died from loneliness. From this debacle came the studies that Attachment Parenting would bloom from, and even today, psychoanalysts are working miracles with Attachment Theory.
But doctors, haven't you learned your lesson?! I know you want to fuss at me for losing weight while my baby is wanting to pack on tons of fluid and such, but have you been pregnant? My body quite obviously does not want to gain fat right now. And I think it may know what it's doing. After all, the world is filled with toxins (don't I know it- I wrote a 6-page outline on toxin awareness for the Green & Granola business plan) and right now my baby is at its most vulnerable. I'm sure it doesn't need high-fructose corn syrup or bleached wheat or preservatives. Unfortunately, they're in every damn thing and my body knows it! So slow your roll, doc. I'm going to trust my body over you.
While we're at this, I'm going to say a bit about drinking during pregnancy. I got to wondering about why my friend's glass of Chardonnay smelled so blissfully amazing while every other smell makes me want to barf, and did some Googling...
Actually, I'm not going to say anything; I'm going to link you this article: Lies That Women Are Told.
You can bet that as soon as I make my 2nd trimester I am RUNNING to Whole Foods for some Chardonnay!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Cue the Beck Music
How to tell if a woman's pregnant: she gets back from puking and has a smile on her face.
I've lost over 10 pounds since I found out a couple of weeks ago about my pregnancy. Today was the first day I actually lost my lunch. Er, breakfast. Now, I'm a tough cookie. I walk into an ER with a 7.5 mm kidney stone and turn down pain meds. But this? This, everything-you-managed-to-get-down-sitting-on-a-geyser-in-your-throat feeling, it's making me a sissy. The problem is not so much throwing up as it is being nauseated. Throwing up = not a big deal, whereas constantly being on the brink = hell for everyone around me to pay. I hear about Phenergan and Zofran and my mouth water (nevermind that it's a fountain all the time in any case). I seriously, seriously considered begging my doctor for a script. BUT I remembered my crunchy roots just in time to run to the bathroom and double over. Good deal, huh?
There are some old herbal-ish remedies for morning sickness. I've tried a lot of them. Sucked on enough lemons to give myself mouth sores, tried the saltine-every-hour thing, spicy foods, chocolate, bananas, peppermint... and my advice? Get used to the queasies. There are these things called Preggie Pops, however, that do work more than the above mentioned remedies (in my opinion). They're made with natural sugar alternatives, so there's not as much tummy-upsetting sweetness as regular candy, and they're sour or minty which helps tummy out.
Speaking of Preggie Pops, I had to go to Motherhood Maternity to buy them. The cute little trick with Motherhood Maternity is that you walk in the store and the attendant says "Welcome to Motherhood!" And while my first reaction was to snip something about a good 7 months left until then, I smiled at her and reflected on the marketing sense of that greeting. Pregnant women spend at least the first trimester incessantly worrying about absolutely everything pregnancy-related, and a lot of us can't even bond with the idea that we're going to be mothers during this time. To hear someone say "Welcome to motherhood" probably makes the idea of parenting just that much more real, if only for a minute, and could lead to some happy spending. It worked on me. I bought a maternity top and a sundress. Don't judge me, it was clearance!
I do understand, though, if you want to judge me for wearing the dress right now.
I've lost over 10 pounds since I found out a couple of weeks ago about my pregnancy. Today was the first day I actually lost my lunch. Er, breakfast. Now, I'm a tough cookie. I walk into an ER with a 7.5 mm kidney stone and turn down pain meds. But this? This, everything-you-managed-to-get-down-sitting-on-a-geyser-in-your-throat feeling, it's making me a sissy. The problem is not so much throwing up as it is being nauseated. Throwing up = not a big deal, whereas constantly being on the brink = hell for everyone around me to pay. I hear about Phenergan and Zofran and my mouth water (nevermind that it's a fountain all the time in any case). I seriously, seriously considered begging my doctor for a script. BUT I remembered my crunchy roots just in time to run to the bathroom and double over. Good deal, huh?
There are some old herbal-ish remedies for morning sickness. I've tried a lot of them. Sucked on enough lemons to give myself mouth sores, tried the saltine-every-hour thing, spicy foods, chocolate, bananas, peppermint... and my advice? Get used to the queasies. There are these things called Preggie Pops, however, that do work more than the above mentioned remedies (in my opinion). They're made with natural sugar alternatives, so there's not as much tummy-upsetting sweetness as regular candy, and they're sour or minty which helps tummy out.
Speaking of Preggie Pops, I had to go to Motherhood Maternity to buy them. The cute little trick with Motherhood Maternity is that you walk in the store and the attendant says "Welcome to Motherhood!" And while my first reaction was to snip something about a good 7 months left until then, I smiled at her and reflected on the marketing sense of that greeting. Pregnant women spend at least the first trimester incessantly worrying about absolutely everything pregnancy-related, and a lot of us can't even bond with the idea that we're going to be mothers during this time. To hear someone say "Welcome to motherhood" probably makes the idea of parenting just that much more real, if only for a minute, and could lead to some happy spending. It worked on me. I bought a maternity top and a sundress. Don't judge me, it was clearance!
I do understand, though, if you want to judge me for wearing the dress right now.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Old Wives
We've all heard the myths.
If you're carrying low, it's a boy; high, it's a girl. If you crave salty or sour, it's a boy; chocolate means a girl. No morning sickness, it's a boy... and so on. So what happens if you're craving a cheesy bean and rice burrito with a metric ton of mild sauce one day, and Hershey's the next? Watermelon and raspberries make you giddy one day, and miserable the next?
Zack says twins.
I say, shut your @$@#$* mouth. Please. And if you don't mind, grab me a popsicle? Orange.
I'm not really this mean and monstrous. This is how it goes down in my head, though. Like the following situation:
Reality
Dr. Buttface: What can I do for you today?
Me: Not sure, doc, I have a rather large kidney stone, but I am also pregnant.
Dr. Buttface: Looks at me in quite the condescending manner, What makes you think you're pregnant?
Me: About a million labs. Would you like to see my paperwork?
Dr. Buttface: Takes my pregnancy portfolio and proceeds to look over every sheet of paper, including my insurance information, as if he will find something to prove me wrong. I'm referring you. This is more than I want to deal with here.
What Went Down In My Head
Dr. Buttface: What can I do for you today?
Me: Probably nothing. I am knocked up.
Dr. Buttface: What makes you think you're pregnant?
Me: I'm considering puking in your face right now, and at least 10 HPT's and two sets of Beta HCG levels tell me it's because there's something growing inside of me. Did they skip that chapter in your community college med school?
Dr. Buttface: I think that's out of line, Miss-
Me: Vomits in his face
I guess I need to go lay down before my hormones crawl out of my blood and take on a form of their own like that creepy black stuff in that terrible Spiderman movie.
If you're carrying low, it's a boy; high, it's a girl. If you crave salty or sour, it's a boy; chocolate means a girl. No morning sickness, it's a boy... and so on. So what happens if you're craving a cheesy bean and rice burrito with a metric ton of mild sauce one day, and Hershey's the next? Watermelon and raspberries make you giddy one day, and miserable the next?
Zack says twins.
I say, shut your @$@#$* mouth. Please. And if you don't mind, grab me a popsicle? Orange.
I'm not really this mean and monstrous. This is how it goes down in my head, though. Like the following situation:
Reality
Dr. Buttface: What can I do for you today?
Me: Not sure, doc, I have a rather large kidney stone, but I am also pregnant.
Dr. Buttface: Looks at me in quite the condescending manner, What makes you think you're pregnant?
Me: About a million labs. Would you like to see my paperwork?
Dr. Buttface: Takes my pregnancy portfolio and proceeds to look over every sheet of paper, including my insurance information, as if he will find something to prove me wrong. I'm referring you. This is more than I want to deal with here.
What Went Down In My Head
Dr. Buttface: What can I do for you today?
Me: Probably nothing. I am knocked up.
Dr. Buttface: What makes you think you're pregnant?
Me: I'm considering puking in your face right now, and at least 10 HPT's and two sets of Beta HCG levels tell me it's because there's something growing inside of me. Did they skip that chapter in your community college med school?
Dr. Buttface: I think that's out of line, Miss-
Me: Vomits in his face
I guess I need to go lay down before my hormones crawl out of my blood and take on a form of their own like that creepy black stuff in that terrible Spiderman movie.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Karma.
So I've been in the child care industry for years now, and I've done enough research to make me never want to pick up a baby book again. At this point in pregnancy, I figure most women are searching through Barnes and Noble with their decaf lattes for every modern pregnancy book available. Me? Meh. I know about natural childbirth and organic living and attachment parenting and breastfeeding and positive discipline and babywearing and elimination communication and all that other good stuff. At this point in pregnancy, rather than poring over baby books, I am usually bent over the toilet on the verge of losing whatever I managed to get down (but interestingly enough never actually losing it) and crying because this is just the beginning. And at the end, all my karmic retribution for telling natural moms-to-be about the benefits of a natural childbirth.
Kill me now.
I used to think that I would be so excited to be pregnant that the pain would be nothing compared to the pure bliss I'd feel. I had no idea what constant nausea would do to my morale.
I know I sound bitter, but I'm really excited. I'm coming from LA, where there are so many places to go and things to do with a little one, and even when you're pregnant. I know that kind of community exists. I just have to dig for it in New Orleans, maybe. Or maybe I'll just go back to LA...
"Honey, I'm flying back to LA."
Zack suppresses the urge to call 911 for a straitjacket, and speaks very slowly. "Um... why?"
"I need to be in Malibu right now, with a quart of cherry soy ice cream."
At this point I would completely forget about the fact that I haven't booked a ticket, and get in the car and drive to the airport, while Zack sits at home frozen in fear of what I might do to him if he raises any objection.
Somebody ship me some Pinkberry, stat! Will satisfying cravings give me my sanity back? Probably not... but they will hopefully relieve my obsession for ice cream alternatives.
Kill me now.
I used to think that I would be so excited to be pregnant that the pain would be nothing compared to the pure bliss I'd feel. I had no idea what constant nausea would do to my morale.
I know I sound bitter, but I'm really excited. I'm coming from LA, where there are so many places to go and things to do with a little one, and even when you're pregnant. I know that kind of community exists. I just have to dig for it in New Orleans, maybe. Or maybe I'll just go back to LA...
"Honey, I'm flying back to LA."
Zack suppresses the urge to call 911 for a straitjacket, and speaks very slowly. "Um... why?"
"I need to be in Malibu right now, with a quart of cherry soy ice cream."
At this point I would completely forget about the fact that I haven't booked a ticket, and get in the car and drive to the airport, while Zack sits at home frozen in fear of what I might do to him if he raises any objection.
Somebody ship me some Pinkberry, stat! Will satisfying cravings give me my sanity back? Probably not... but they will hopefully relieve my obsession for ice cream alternatives.
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