I'm ready. No, seriously- I want this baby out! At this point, who wouldn't? Even though I might be terrified that birth won't go as planned and I'll end up with an intervention, or I will fail at breastfeeding, or I'll get severe postpartum depression. The chances of one or all of these things happening are greater, statistically, because I am delivering in a hospital.
I've gotten a good deal of flack about this. I'm the Granola Nanny, they say! I own a company geared toward all things natural, they say! How could I be such a traitor?!
In my defense, I've never considered myself Queen of the Hippies. I *love* learning about and employing ways to keep children living natural, healthy lives. I love homeopathy and holistic approaches to health. I love the nurturing, basic ways of caring for children that Attachment Parenting and Positive Discipline offer. I love having a small impact on the environment, and using soap and household cleaners that don't have the ridiculous amount of chemicals in them that commercial products have.
But I'm not unrealistic. I don't live in a cabin in the woods. I don't turn down food at someone's house or while I'm out if it's not organic. I even ate produce in my first trimester that wasn't organic! GASP- I know! Ideally, I would have liked to have organic and healthy foods, but I had to eat whatever seemed like it might stay down, and if there was an apple around that didn't make me want to vomit by looking at it, it was in ma belleh (and back up shortly after- so who knows how many chemicals I actually absorbed?). I could go on with examples for days, but the point is, I'm not perfect.
My decision to give birth in a hospital setting was made while considering several factors. I want to state upfront and be very clear, however, that I would prefer a homebirth, and I'm an advocate of homebirths. They are statistically the safest labor and delivery experiences, and promote bonding on a surreal level. That out of the way, I don't feel it was the best option for my family at this place and time in our lives. For one, we live in New Orleans, where there is no such thing as a free-standing birthing center, and there is a single midwifery practice. I'd feel more comfortable if I had a lay midwife whom I could be certain had as much experience as the OB/GYNs around here, but how could that happen, when this area is so geared toward hospital birth and OB/GYN care? I'd also like to have a choice between several midwives whose experience level I felt comfortable with. Since that didn't even happen with the choice for a hospital birth, that's not happening with a possible home birth. Also, I am definitely not prepared nor do I feel I would have had the time and energy to prepare myself to have an unassisted childbirth. Maybe next time. Besides, my insurance doesn't even cover homebirths, and yes, this is a big factor in my decision to give birth at a hospital. And last but not least, the boyfriend isn't comfortable with a homebirth. He has been extremely supportive throughout this pregnancy, and I feel like I owe him the comfort of having medical professionals around while I may be writhing in agony while he is helpless to do anything about it.
Hopefully, the scenario won't play out quite like that. While I don't feel qualified to plan for an unassisted homebirth at this point, I *have* done my homework.
- I know my rights, and my birth partner (boyfriend) does too. If we encounter any inappropriate behavior or suggestions by the medical staff, we'll first allow the midwife to mediate, and if we don't feel comfortable with her suggestions, we'll handle it our way. Knowing our rights helps us to feel educated and empowered and in control. Many hospital mishaps (unnecessary interventions, lack of informed consent, miscommunication between staff and laboring mothers) happen because the mother doesn't know what she's entitled to.
- I've participated in childbirth education. Particularly, the Hypnobabies method and the Bradley Method. Both methods are focused on helping the mother to relax and therefore help the birthing process along. Hypnobabies actually pushes the mindset that labor can be entirely enjoyable! We'll see what happens in the LDR, with the lights dimmed and the hypnosis tracks playing. If I'm not pain-free, I have the back-up mindset from Bradley. The Bradley Method also stresses the importance of relaxation, but suggests that laboring mothers embrace whatever sensations come, be it pure pressure or excruciating pain. The Bradley Method teaches you to just let go. Whatever happens, I know that the preparation and education I have going into this is helping me feel much more comfortable about getting very close to one of the biggest events of my life.
- I've rented a birthing pool. Hydrotherapy during labor has many proven benefits, and some mothers have even told me that the birthing tub was as effective as an epidural! I have (possibly unrealistic) high hopes for this tool... but it's one of many.
- I have a friend who is a doula and will ideally attend our birth. I'll admit to feeling much better with plans to have a positive support person whom I have a personal, trusting relationship with. My boyfriend is wonderful support, but he will never know what childbirth will be like, and he will probably be scared out of his mind. I think it's a great idea to have someone around who is interested in your emotional well-being as much if not more than your physical well-being, who is grounded and positive, and who has medical knowledge and can help you through decisions as well.
- I have a birth plan and some brownies. When I give the list of preferences to the nurses in L&D, I'll also be handing them a container of two-bite brownies. Who doesn't like brownies? Hopefully the nurses will be supportive and we'll get along wonderfully.
- I've researched my hospital and really gotten to know my midwives. Touro is said to be the most supportive medical institution in the area of natural childbirth. They call L&D the "Birthing Center". I know from recommendations and testimonials that the nursing staff is familiar with and generally supportive of alternative methods of childcare. Now, what I'm about to say about my midwives is somewhat key for me. I'm not entirely comfortable with either of them. Like I said, they're the only practice in town, and I much prefer the care of a midwife over that of an OB. However, they're not perfect. I feel like there are times they don't listen. Mostly, it's if I have an appointment at the end of the day. They're tired, they've heard it all...and they assume they know much better about what's going on in my body than I do. One is worse than the other. Many people would suggest to switch to a different caregiver, but my opinion is this: no one is perfect. In New Orleans, I'm not likely to find a caregiver I completely trust. And that is probably good, because it stems from my belief that no one can know your body like you do. So I choose to be aware of the problem areas I have with my caregivers, and be prepared to cope (or have someone else cope) with issues if they arise.
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